Life is full of disappointment…a phenomenon that seems more like a learned response than an innate emotion. It’s not like the instant anger you get when you’re a kid and your sister goes nuts or you miss out on a cool toy (scholastic lol) Disappointment needs a connection, with people and with yourself. The first taste of it probably comes from your parents because that’s where your first real connections happen, and it just goes downhill from there.
The more you believe in people, the more you set yourself up for disappointment. It’s a real gut-punch kind of hurt, way more personal than other feelings. ( I always feel disappointment righhttt in my heart chakra lol). Disappointment aches. It truly hurts because nobody you don’t love or care about can disappoint you. It’s always personal. There’s no such thing as impersonal disappointment. It might feel that way, but it’s something else.
My most recent disappointment revolves around apologies. It seems like a genuine apology is a very rare, RARE commodity. When was the last time you received a sincere apology? Let me lay down the rules for what constitutes a real apology.
1. YOU.DONT.GET.TO.CHOSE.WHAT.IS.DESERVING.OF.AN.APOLOGY: If someone expresses hurt, that should be enough. There’s no need for justifications or dismissals.
2. “Sorry you feel that way”: The classic manipulator’s go-to. Be more original or crafty if you’re going to be an asshole.
3. Repeat Office: Don’t fucking utter apologies if you have no intention of changing your behavior.
It’s a sad, sad realization that those who have caused me the MOST pain and heartache have never offered a real, sincere apology. Whats even sadder is that im still waiting 🙁
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